


where a flower blooms.

by commonemergency



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 08:48:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14305092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commonemergency/pseuds/commonemergency
Summary: Dan is thinking about daffodils and the view of London and how they’re somewhere in that view that they saw, existing in this small space, unseen, but safe.or Dan and Phil go for a run to Hampstead Heath and admire the flowers and eat ice cream.





	where a flower blooms.

**Author's Note:**

> this fic made me weirdly emotional about flowers so there's that. 
> 
> big shoutout to ale **@pnkmttrs** for being my beta and for always listening to me talk about writing when she's trying to ice donuts.  <3

They run sometimes. _Sometimes_ being the operative word. It’s one of the first very rare days with no rain, the sun is out, there’s a slight breeze and it doesn’t feel like the claws of winter hanging off of their bones. Dan feels good, but he can feel better. He takes days like today for granted sometimes.

Phil is typing away in the office, it’s rare when he works here, he claims that it’s too cramped and he feels trapped here but today he guessed was an exception. 

“Want to go for a jog?” It sounds funny coming out of Dan’s mouth, he jokes about it enough, but there’s always a little truth behind it. He doesn’t leave the house unless he has to, having to interact with people is terrifying sometimes, but the weather is nice, and he knows that if Phil goes they’ll definitely stop for something sweet regardless of the fact that they’re running. Phil needs rewards and Dan needs the endorphins, it’s a win win for both of them. 

Phil looks up from the computer and then at the time. They had an early start to the morning, it was nine. Both of them had woken up at eight, it was humorous in the way they both didn’t really function until afternoon. 

“Sure.” Phil finishes up what he was doing and closes the laptop. Dan admires his at home outfit. It’s very Phil and very lazy, it was nice to be reminded that they had these days. 

“Where are we going?” Phil asks as they both walk to their room. 

“Hampstead Heath. I’ve sort of routed it.” 

“Right. Am I going to hate you by the end of it?” Phil has a small smile on his face as he digs around for anything that sort of resembles workout clothes but that’s also acceptable enough to walk around in the public. 

“Maybe. It’s a _bit_ of a run.”

“Yeah….” Phil says, eyeing Dan, looking at him suspiciously. 

Dan just smiles, because either way they’re doing this. 

*

The run is brutal. No matter how much they stretched it was still brutal. Phil is limping and Dan is holding on to his side needing to sit because he’s dizzy. Phil looks like he wants to punch Dan’s shoulder for making them do this when they’re not prepared. They both are trying to catch their breath but they look at each other and they have to laugh at how unfit they actually are. 

“Christ.” Dan says, patting Phil’s back for a moment. He’s taking the cap of his water bottle and trying not to completely chug all the water but he’s thirsty and it’s humid. They must look funny to people passing by them in their cars or their daily walks. 

This part of London seemed completely foreign to them, like it didn’t belong because of how different and open it looked in comparison to the inner city. There’s shops and pubs sprawled across with cute alleyways with houses with vibrant flowers in the front. 

“Ready?” They’re close to where Dan wants to be, but not close enough. There’s a beautiful view of London on Parliament Hill, many people found themselves there on Guy Fawkes Night for the fireworks. Dan and Phil were the type to stay with friends and climb on roofs despite it being unsafe but they do it for the pictures. 

“I hate you.” Phil says with another huff, smiling just a little, taking another drink from his water bottle before prepping himself.

They start running again, their speed is significantly slower, but that’s what they needed. Hampstead Heath was a rather large and ancient park, and people were coming and going with blankets and packed lunches. They had ran by a few dogs and while Dan wanted to stop to admire them he knew that if they did they wouldn’t keep going. He didn’t know why he was pushing himself to get to the top other than the fact that he wanted to prove to himself that he could start something and finish it. 

It was part of a goal that he was trying to make. His new therapist, (and hopefully _last_ therapist), had told him about small goals to try and achieve and one of them had been going on a long run, just to prove that he could. While the fear of running into people was still very prevalent the feeling of them being so close to the top of the hill was something that he so badly wanted for himself. He just wanted Phil to be there to see it. 

Winter was always long, and it was always hard in its own way. While he loved the life that he lived he also knew that there were parts of it that were a little bit broken. With that thought he pushed himself a little more, outrunning Phil just by a little but his side was hurting. With that last bit of energy and determination he made it to the top to see the Shard and the other skyscrapers surrounding it littered with other historical buildings that he knows the name of but can’t think of right now. Phil joined him seconds after, both out of breath. 

“I need to sit.” Phil said, looking down at the grass. 

“It’s not good to sit, something to do with your heart rate?” Dan placed his bottle by his feet and put his hands behind his head and walked around in small circles and Phil did the same. 

After their cool down walk they sat at the bench that overlooked the view. It really was a beautiful day out despite the humidity. Dan’s hair was curling in different places and Phil was resisting the urge to reach out and touch it because it was rare when he saw his hair like this. It made him look more his age, in Phil’s eyes, just a _little_ bit older. 

“We look like a proper gym couple,” Phil mentioned quietly, stretching his legs out and Dan had done the same. It was burning. Everything was burning. 

Dan snorted at the comment, “Yeah, we’re very on brand.” He rolled his eyes, bumping Phil’s shoulder but giving them that calculated space they always seemed to have in public, close but not close enough. 

Dan drank more of his water, looking out at the view, thinking that it was crazy that they actually lived here. They’d only been here a few years, but even before that he always came down to London since it wasn’t too far from where he lived, but it was different now that he considered himself a ‘Londoner’. It meant something now, and he didn’t quite understand it until he was actually looking out at the city. It looked big, he forgot that you could easily get lost, (and they had before), but sometimes, when it was just them in their flat, it felt like the tiniest place, with the skyscrapers and the walls of their home closing in. 

“It is a pretty view.” Phil mused, grabbing his phone out of his pocket to take a few pictures. 

“Yeah.” Dan said, a little entranced by it all. They were just two people, when he thought of it, just two people who were starting to make this place their home.

“Was it worth the run?” Dan turns to him with a small smirk on his lips. 

Phil is playfully stubborn, he shrugs. “Ask me later.” 

He will. 

*

They find themselves walking around the park, trying not to ruin people’s picnics and pictures. Their feet hurt, but it’s a good pain. It’s very quiet now, the sound of dogs barking and children laughing in the distance, it’s the kind of quality time that they always have but somehow it feels a little bit different. They don’t have to say anything to understand that moments like these are precious. 

Phil picks up rocks, it’s a thing he does when he remembers, picking up rocks to commemorate the moment when it’s happening. He has a small box that he puts them in, they all look the same in some way, small, quite boring, but important in the moment. He stuffs one small one in his pocket and then tries his best to skip the rock in the pond. 

“Martyn and I used to skip rocks for a prize,” Phil picks up another, trying to make it skip but it just looks like he’s throwing it and it makes Dan smile. 

“Of course.” Dan says, grabbing a rock himself to do the same. It’s not that far of a skip, but it counts. 

They keep walking, trying to find a nice area to take more pictures, everything is beautiful in the way where you’re used to it, nothing particularly stands out because it’s just there and it exists, but Dan always finds that the trees are always something to admire. Maybe there’s a deeper meaning in that but he doesn’t want to think about it. He points his camera up towards it with the sun peaking through the branches, and the wind is nice. 

*

They’re in the middle of what seems like a forest, surrounded by trees and the only real evidence that they’re still in London is the people walking across to the paths going in and out of these tiny little havens. 

Dan finds daffodils. They’re a spring icon, but with such a short lifespan. His grandmum told him that they’re very beautiful, but very rare in the way where you can see them at their full potential for about a month before they leave again, like an old friend that comes once a year but doesn’t stay for very long. 

Dan never really understood the big deal about flowers until he was older, and now he’s learning to appreciate them for what they are. He can’t say that he’s picky. He likes roses, but has an unusual dislike for sunflowers. Though his knowledge on flowers is very limited, but he knows daffodils when he sees them. 

Dan bends down to look at the daffodils, a lot of them seem to be drying out and dying. It’s a shame, he thinks, taking a quick picture to send to his grandmum to let her know that he was thinking of her.

It reminds him of a specific memory of walking with his grandmum and Adrian, his brother had spotted a bed of them and wanted to pick it because it was big, vibrant, and pretty thing to come out of a cold winter. His gran had grabbed Adrian’s hand away from plucking it and said, “ _Don’t pick it up. Let it be beautiful for a little while longer._ ” He didn’t understand it then but he did now. 

He feels like there’s something stuck in his throat looking at the flowers, and Phil tethers him back to reality by placing a hand on his shoulder. Dan places his hand on top of Phil’s before standing back up, giving one last glance to the flower before they start walking away. 

*  
There are many places that they could eat but they find themselves at the nearest pub. It’s mainly so they can just sit and not be in the humidity no matter how nice the sun is. Dan is looking through his photos that he took, editing the picture of the daffodils and sending it over email to his grandmum. No matter how many times he tells her to text him, she always ends up sending emails but he finds it endearing. 

Dan sends Phil the pictures of the flowers for no other reason other than the fact that he wants him to experience it the way he did regardless of the fact that he was there too, and for whatever reason when Phil gets the pictures he saves it to his phone because he knows that in some way it’s important. He doesn’t quite get it, but he supposes that it’s a reminder of something. 

“Did you do it?” Phil asks, looking at Dan who’s been quietly staring out the window people watching. 

“Hmm?” Dan raises an eyebrow, he’s a bit spaced out at the moment. 

“Did you complete one of your goals?” Dan watches the way Phil drums his fingers against the table, it’s not that he’s nervous to ask him stuff like that, _like therapy_ , or life goals, and it’s not that it’s such a delicate subject, it’s just. _New_. 

Dan smiles softly, nodding his head. “Yeah.” He mentally checks it off his list, reminding himself that he needs to take his medication after he eats. He should have done it this morning to stay on a consistent schedule but he’s still getting used to it. 

“Thanks.” Dan says quietly, nudging his foot against Phil’s. 

“I’m glad.” Phil nudges his foot back, his fingers stop drumming, and his eyes widen because the food is coming. 

*

They window shop, it’s the one thing they’re good at along side stepping into bakeries and resisting the urge to buy a box of goods. They settle for splitting a muffin, and Dan claims that it’s unfairly evened out as Phil has the bigger slice. 

“I appreciate it more.” Phil claims, not savouring the muffin and eating it as quickly as they got it. 

“You’re the worst.” Dan says in the kind of fond voice that means the exact opposite. 

 

The afternoon slowly shifts to evening, and the shops start to close down, except for an ice cream shop. Dan never knows how Phil persuades him but it doesn’t take a lot. Dan orders for the both of them while Phil gets them a table outside to enjoy while the sun sets. 

Dan takes his time with his ice cream to prolong leaving. While he enjoys his time at home he forgets how nice it is to be outside, to enjoy the things or the people around him. He watches as people pack up for the day, saying goodbye to shop neighbours and that they’ll see them tomorrow because it’s just part of routine. Everything has its place, and Dan was just starting to feel like he was finding his. 

When they finish they throw napkins in the rubbish bins. 

“Ready to run back?” Dan jokes and Phil pushes him a little. 

“Absolutely not.” Phil’s got his phone out to call a cab and Dan cackles at his reaction. He takes another picture of the sunset while they wait. 

*

In the cab Dan checks his emails and sees that his grandmum replied. 

_Thank you for thinking of me, Daniel. I do love daffodils. I saw some the other day on my walk! They’re beautiful flowers aren’t they? It’s a shame they’re not here for very long, though I suppose that makes them all the more special. I hope spring is treating you well, do visit soon dear. XX_

*

After long showers and putting things in the wash Dan and Phil collapse in bed and get on their phones touching each other in some way although Dan’s eyes can’t stay open for much longer. The events of the day are hitting him and he just wants to sleep. Phil feels it too. He grabs both of their phones and puts them on the charger and Dan comes up behind Phil, holding him against his chest. 

Dan is thinking about daffodils and the view of London and how they’re somewhere in that view that they saw, existing in this small space, unseen, but safe. He was nervous, afraid that he wouldn’t achieve one of his goals but seeing that he could it gives him that boost that he needed. He’d get in the hang of it soon- learning to take care of himself in the ways that he needs to. He wasn’t there yet, but he was working towards it. 

“Was it worth the run?” Dan asks and he can’t see Phil smile but he knows that he is. 

“It was.” Phil squeezes his arm while Dan kisses his neck as if to say, _thank you. Thank you for coming with me._

“I really loved that ice cream.” Phil adds and Dan pinches his side in return and they both laugh. 

Spring was treating him well after all.

**Author's Note:**

> comments/kudos appreciated!
> 
> talk to me on tumblr/twitter: **@nihilismdan.**


End file.
